Where was I?

It’s Baaack!
The Felted Wool Blanket Master Class will begin October 1, 2019!
(Enrollment starts September 24)

Interested in learning more? Read all about it on the course info page here. In addition, you may sign up for updates through my email newsletter, and I’ll send you my super practical video
on how to choose sweaters for any felted wool project.

It contains footage from the Master Class so you can have a peek at my teaching style!

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This past weekend my husband and I were sitting in this ↑ coffee shop in central Wisconsin, coffees in hand, unfamiliar (to me) top-10 music in the background. It’s nearly the end of the summer season for this little lake town, and families of multiple generations were stopping in for ice cream. The teens and preteens mouthed the words to the piped-in songs, politely stopping to answer their grandparents’ questions. Hubby and I split an Amish doughnut as the shop proprietor told us this was nearly the last weekend for them. Erik chose a chocolate one. It was airy and delicious.

I pulled out my tablet of paper, as I had set aside this time to write. I’ve been pretty quiet here at The Green Sheep blog, and I thought I ought to explain.

Something internal happened to me this past year. I found I put it differently as the months went on. First I said, “I feel flat, like something died in me.” Or, “The bottom just fell out of me. I miss myself.” My intense joy in blanket-making was hollowed out too, and that shook me. Later I said, “I’m not sure I can face the things that need doing. Mostly I just want to go sleep.”

When I found tears popping into my eyes in just about any conversation, I made a doctor appointment.

As I began to recognize this as depression rather than just “feeling low,” I got better at making changes. I cut back on travel and on involvements. I’m getting better sleep. I sit on our deck and absorb the straight-up outdoors almost daily. I’ve revived the practice of reading fiction, something I used to do regularly.  I practice “Be still and know that I am God.” I pray, I trust. I plan little mental health breaks, I spend less time on social media. And, yes, I’ve added a tiny pill to my morning handful of supplements.

In retrospect it’s easier to see what was going on. (Always, right?!) In the language my speech therapists colleagues, I had spent all my Brain Bucks…and I was not socking away any new ones in savings. I was depleted.

But, guys, I’m delighted to tell you that the pendulum is swinging back. I’m making my first blankets in months. I’m taking my time, enjoying the pace and the process. I’m currently working on a custom order of three blankets and I’ll be sharing photos as soon as I can.

A handful of you have written over the past months, asking whether the Felted Wool Blanket Master Class will be offered soon. Your understanding and encouragement have meant a ton, even as I was honest with you about where I was. But thank you! Your hope became my impetus!

I’m still taking thing slowly, but I certainly feel the old Joanie I know and recognize has returned.

10 thoughts on “Where was I?

  1. I’m so glad you are feeling better and back to writing and sewing! Thank you for being open about depression and for seeking assistance. It’s important for all of us to recognize illness for what it is, whether physical or mental. Sending you all the best!!

    • I’ll receive that, Diane! I’m pretty private in many ways, but feel that this is something that shows, whether I mean for it to or not. I might as well talk about it; I know there are many, many who understand.

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